By Adesuwa Ewoigbokhan
There is a bit of unpleasantness surrounding talking dirty. The simple truth is that, sex talk plays a large role in a lot of couples’ love lives, as this can single - handedly, promote intimacy on many levels. Talking with your partner in the build up to the real act, can actually heighten the sexual tension that leads naturally into physical foreplay and eventually, intercourse. Once things start rolling, dirty talk can spice things into position especially where you have face-to-face contact. Talking to yourselves and allowing your partner to hear your voice and feel your breath, makes achieving orgasm quicker.
Dirty talk can help in long distance relationship: calling to gist when you feel horny can be a plus.
Knowing what to say to excite your man/woman can put both of you in the mood a lot faster. Although dirty talk does not to turn everyone on, it does not also have to be all rude and nasty. Talking dirty during copulation, can help to rekindle romance, reassure both partners that they are doing a good job. Hearing your mate moan with pleasure or tell you that he or she enjoys being with you, can be a pointer that you are doing something right and this encourages you to go on to be more daring and adventurous.
It’s no big deal if you are having a romantic dinner with your partner or getting busy between the bed sheets, ladies love to chat with their men. That’s because for women, verbal communication is key to emotional intimacy, says relationship Psychologist, Terri Orbuch, Ph.d., a Research Scientist at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research and author of Finding Love Again. And intimacy is, in turn a common prerequisite for getting it on. ‘’ In general, men tend to get
emotional connection through sex but women need to get an emotional connection to want sex, says Orbuch.
Ian Kerner, Ph.d., author of She Comes First, added that ‘’ Words can be a powerful aphrodisiac and often aren’t used enough’. What you tell your spouse has the power to crank up her arousal, confidence and make sex even more amazing for the couple. Here are tips to follow:
You have to mean what you say, not because that’s the gentleman stuff to do. Your body language always tells the truth and if not in – sync with your words, she is going to call your bluf, says Orbuch. Just be specific, as this makes you sound more thoughtful and shows her that you have noticed something special in her. Orbuch says it’s the difference between ‘’You look beautiful ‘’ and ‘’ Your eyes are beautiful.’’
Go straight to the point, you don’t need to be a chatterbox to talk your partner off, says Rachel NEEDLE, Psy.D., a Psychologist with the centre for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida. Keep things short and sweet, no rambling.
One of the most fundamental exercise in a relationship is communication. It’s just natural that when things get hot and heavy, you should have conversation. Yes, talk that dirty talk and if you have not given it a try during sex or foreplay, it is time. It’s actually less frightening than it seems. When you decide to bring dirty talk into the bedroom, it is not all about your partner and their needs, it is equally about what you as a person enjoy too. And quite a number of couples really love to gist dirty, it feels cool to let it all out. Whether you want to talk dirty in bed through sexting or you want to indulge in the good old fashioned phone sex, talking dirty during the act is one activity everyone should try. Here are some salient reasons why it is necessary.
You get to learn what you’re comfortable with. It might be tricky at first as it can make people to feel vulnerable to put themselves out there in such a vocal way. There are those who can’t say certain words like ‘’pussy’’ and ‘’cock’’ which if you are sincere, are the words you are going to make use of when gisting dirty. There is also the question of overcoming how you see them inside the bedroom. Sex therapist Vanessa Marin’s column for Bustle on talking dirty explains, it’s totally okay to use words like slut, even though you may find them offensive outside the bedroom.
You’re taking control of the word and using it on your terms, and that can be challenging for some women. But sometimes, a challenge helps you define what you’re comfortable with. Keep your spouse in the loop. Your mate can not read your mind, so if you know what makes you feel good, what needs to be done and you’d really love it if he/she could focus all his/her energy, then you both benefit. Once you can say what your desire and how you want it, you are no longer too far from saying how
it make you feel. The dirty talk will just roll from there, though it will take time but you will definitely get there.
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